Jack was right!

Confidence IS sexy in a man! Remember Jack Palance? A confident man outshines all day long, hands down. Don't believe me? The next time you see an unattractive, broke, poorly dressed man with a woman, check out how he carries himself. I'm a woman and I know. Whenever I catch a whiff of self-doubt or low self-esteem in a man, I'm outta there. Men who lack confidence in themselves weave webs of deception, pity and manipulation. And once you get tangled in their spidery lairs, good luck getting out.

I recently joined an online dating site (I'll tell you about it later). The first message I received was from a LSES (low self-esteem spider). Two sentences into his message and I was turned off. And slightly angry he thought he could lure me into his pity party. I'm probably coming off as a snob, but so be it. LSESs suck! Here's a bit of what he said:

"I don't know if I fit into your idea of an attractive man, but if I do, I would like very much to talk to you sometime to find out if we would be compatible for long term."

I bet you're thinking, what's wrong with that? That doesn't sound so bad. Nuh-uh. You're on the slow bus. Allow me to decode the message for you.

1. Your first 10 words should never contain a negative. Right off the rip he says, "I don't know..." It wouldn't matter what you put after that; you've placed yourself in a corner. It's obvious you don't know...WE don't know anything about one another. Step it up.

2. Don't assume what I value. His second mistake is assuming attractiveness is most important. In addition, this implies he believes he is unattractive. This smacks of low-self-esteem. What he should have done was not address his attractiveness at all. Let me be the judge. It might have helped if he would have bothered to take a picture that didn't include a reflection of the flash in the mirror he used to take the photo, but whatev. His profile goes on to say,

"Do you care about more than just money or good looks? Do you like a guy who actually pays attention to you? If you answered yes to these questions, then you owe it to yourself to talk to me. "

Yuck. Hose me down pulease!! Using tired sales tricks (getting a customer to say yes three or more times in a row) to get a date is a way of life for LSESs. These statements are dripping with sarcasm, bitterness and just a dash of misogyny.

How did I respond to the eensy weensy spiderman? "Thank you for your interest, but it's clear to me we have nothing in common." Scram! I want a nerd, not a dork!