I haven't made much of an effort to see these movies. Alot of them are really old; not in a vintage way, but more in an outdated/outmoded way.
P.S. I don't think I can do Sound of Music. Just don't see it happening.
0-9 12 Angry Men (1957) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 400 Blows (1959) 8 1/2 (1963)
A The African Queen (1952) Alien (1979) All About Eve (1950) Annie Hall (1977) Apocalypse Now (1979)
B The Battle of Algiers (1967) The Bicycle Thief (1948) Blade Runner (1982) Blazing Saddles (1974) Blow Up (1966) Blue Velvet (1986) Bonnie and Clyde (1967) Breathless (1960) The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) Bringing Up Baby (1938) Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
C Casablanca (1942) Chinatown (1974) Citizen Kane (1941) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
D Die Hard (1988) Do the Right Thing (1989) Double Indemnity (1944) Dr. Strangelove (1964) Duck Soup (1933)
E E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) Enter the Dragon (1973) The Exorcist (1973)
F Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982) The French Connection (1971)
G The Godfather (1972) The Godfather, Part II (1974) Goldfinger (1964) The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1968) Goodfellas (1990) The Graduate (1967) Grand Illusion (1938) Groundhog Day (1993)
H A Hard Day’s Night (1964)
I In the Mood For Love (2001) It Happened One Night (1934) It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
J Jaws (1975)
K King Kong (1933)
L The Lady Eve (1941) Lawrence of Arabia (1962) The Lord of the Rings (2001)
M M (1931) M*A*S*H (1970) The Maltese Falcon (1941) The Matrix (1999) Modern Times (1936) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
N National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) Network (1976) Nosferatu (1922)
O On the Waterfront (1954) One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
P Paths of Glory (1958) Princess Mononoke (1999) Psycho (1960) Pulp Fiction (1994)
R Raging Bull (1980) Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) Raise the Red Lantern (1992) Rashomon (1951) Rear Window (1954) Rebel Without a Cause (1955) Rocky (1976) Roman Holiday (1953)
S Saving Private Ryan (1998) Schindler’s List (1993) The Searchers (1956) Seven Samurai (1954) The Shawshank Redemption (1994) The Silence of the Lambs (1991) Singin’ in the Rain (1952) Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) Some Like It Hot (1959) The Sound of Music (1965) Star Wars (1977) Sunset Blvd. (1950)
T Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) The Third Man (1949) This is Spinal Tap (1984) Titanic (1997) To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) Toy Story (1995)
U The Usual Suspects (1995)
V Vertigo (1958)
W When Harry Met Sally… (1989) Wild Strawberries (1957) Wings of Desire (1988) The Wizard of Oz (1939) Women On the Verge of Nervous Breakdown (1988) The World of Apu (1959)
Gimme some new religion, Something that I can feel. Gimme some new tomorrow, Bring it on and make it real. I'm drowning in sweet forgiveness, Come on baby turn my life, yeah. Alice Smith, New Religion
Well, not really. But I am furthering my journey along a path I've considered traveling for a while now. Mrs. Cook, my sixth grade grade teacher, introduced me to meditation. I don't know why it appealed to me then, but it did. Meditation is one of things that makes sense to me, even though I don't completely understand it.
My religious experience consists of being raised in a Baptist family while attending Catholic school. Therefore, I know how to sit for a long time and say lots of prayers. I can say most of those prayers in Spanish (Jesus is multilingual, are you?). My second grade teacher told us non-Catholics we might be going to hell because we weren't Catholic. To compensate for what could possibly be eternal damnation, I would practically wash my face in holy water each week before and after mass. I confessed. I said the rosary. Once, one of my friends let me sub for her as an altar girl. I loved to ring the bells. If going to church was crack, I then just call me Pooky. "God be call'n me, he be call'n me!" I went to Mass once a week at school, some Saturdays, and then off to Baptist church on Sundays. I was in the children's choir, children's usher board, and secretary for children's Sunday School. I was in every group there was. I figured if Catholics had the sure ticket to heaven, then going to two churches instead of just one was bound to get me extra credit. Gold star for Beckie!
I converted to Catholicism to marry my X and raise our kids in his family parish (which no longer exists). Now that I'm divorced (sans annulment), I'm technically a pariah. That would be a problem if I cared. I don't. Religion is a Google map, as far as I'm concerned. It's a route that can but sometimes doesn't get you to where you think you want to be.
At this point in my life, church (any) isn't working for me. I find I connect with God more easily and more meaningfully when I meditate. That's my church. That, reading (Tolle, Holmes, and Rinpoche), community service and Joel. Trying to find a new church home is hard work. I dare anybody to try it. Better yet, try as a single person, then go with your family. See if there is a difference. It flat out sucks. No church is as welcoming as it thinks it is; some churches flat out don't want new members. This has been my experience with christian churches, non-denominational (by definition is denominational), Baptist, and Catholic.
But I've never been one to care too much what people think. If I like the feeling I get going to a church, I'll go as long as I like how I feel. But in recent years, I've only gone because I feel like I'm supposed to, to give the kids the experience. And frankly, that's not enough. The fact that I'm a Christian mutt only benefits me when it comes to game show trivia. My kids also feel and see the disconnect between new members and old ones. It's not a fun experience for them. And I'm kinda over the whole perfect attendance at church thing. I'm not knocking folks who go to church; please don't read any sarcasm in what I'm saying. In fact, I like and admire that. But it doesn't work for me. Spiritually, it just doesn't work.
What has been working for me is meditation. For years, I've practiced alone. Only child syndrome...introvert...I find people exhausting. Meditating helps me remember myself. It helps me relax out of the anxiety I feel when I'm encountering the world. I trust myself and my intuition more. Mediation gave me the strength to ask my X for a divorce. Meditation helps me to chart a course of action for myself and my family. But...meditating alone is a real challenge. And it brings up issues that I don't know what to do with. So now I've started to attend a meditation group. And so far, it's going well. And by so far, I mean two sessions. But I know enough about meditation and the community that potentially comes along with it to know that I like this one. Although it is based in a Buddhist tradition, being a Buddhist is not a requirement. Nor is it an expectation. Meditation is truly a non-denominational practice. This group seems to embrace that concept.
I see myself working on pulling together things I used to think were incongruous, fractured or just not acceptable. Things appealed to me at different times in my life and I didn't know why. But now they seem to come together; vegetarianism, yoga, meditation, my disdain for litter, instrumentals. Peaceful habits of sentient beings. I don't know where this is going to take me; but I'm looking forward to this ride. This year I want answers--no more questions. I'm tired of waiting. Let's go.
I didn't do much journaling much in the 90's. I was too busy trying to get my Diane Keaton on. Fortunately for me, God watches over fools and babies...back then I was both. Considering some of my escapades, I should be thankful there is no written evidence of my behavior. But truth be told, I wouldn't change any of it.
I graduated from college in four years; 1990. I got a job right out of college. I was living on my own, and you couldn't tell me anything. I was making a whopping $20,000 a year! I was hot! I bought a car worth almost twice my annual salary, I had a my own apartment and a college degree. Most of my friends were still in school, or out of school trying to figure things out. The next thing I did after securing my place as a debtholder, was to get a tattoo. Mind you, the early 90's was about grunge and house music. Bubble tape and string cheese. Overalls and spiral perms. Tattoos were not yet mainstream. A car, tattoos, money, free will? All I needed was a dog and a motorcycle, and that was it for me.
Most Sundays, my friend would come over for breakfast. We would recap the previous night's events and/or victims in full detail. One particular day, she glanced at the paper and noticed the Classifieds...the dating section. (Do they still have this in newspapers?)I guess that was today's version of online dating. We saw it as another opportunity to recruit more volunteers. Game FN on. The first person I contacted from the classifieds is still a good friend to this day. The rest? Well, those may have to be future postings. Dirty Socks, Roaches and Me, and the Al the Tiniest Pianist sound like good blog titles, yes?
Anyhoo, today's post is really not about any of that.
Sixteen years ago I somehow, unbelieveably (even to this day) got pregnant. I SO did not want kids. I told everyone this. A dog and a bike. That's it. No kids. That's my plan. I had never even changed a diaper at that point in my life. I was 24 and having fun. I was thinking about moving to Atlanta (with practically every other person I knew). I didn't consider myself the white-house-with-a-picket-fence-type of girl. I was not the type to do something like wind up unmarried and with child. It took half an hour to convince my mother I wasn't joking when I told her.
I was very disconnected from the thought of being pregnant. I just couldn't get my head wrapped around the idea that I was going to be a parent. To me, it was like if a man said he was pregnant ( mind you this is 1993, not 2008), After she was born, I asked the nurse if I could get some food because I was hungry. I had been in labor for 2 days and couldn't eat. She asked me if I wanted to hold my baby. I said sure, but how long on the food? Honestly, it took about 2 years before I finally came to terms with being a mother. Two years. I wasn't a bad mother initially, I just couldn't figure out what this baby was doing here. I didn't want a roommate, I wanted a dog! I went to the Cleveland Indians game at the then-new Jacobs Field for her second birthday; we won over the Seattle Mariners, 4 to 1. Why waste money throwing a big party for a baby? She wasn't going to remember it.
What I didn't know then was that being her mother was going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Knowing my daughter and being able to watch her grow into a beautiful, funny, intelligent young lady who doesn't have a clue how amazing and messy she is, has been my honor. She was an easy baby. Slept all night. Ate everything. Even potty training was easy. She was a good baby. When she was two she told me that before she was bored (her word), she looked down from heaven and said to the angel she wanted me for her mother.
After I mopped up the snot and tears, I couldn't help but think this kid is crazy! But I'm so glad she did pick me. She gave me love and a purpose that was better and greater than anything I could have wanted or ever hoped for.
On this sixteenth birthday, I couldn't be prouder or happier to be chosen as her mom!
I have found another natural foods market nearby. It's called Seven Grains, and it's not far from where I live. I'm excited about this because they sell antibiotic-free, hormone-free, grass-fed meats! Didn't I just ask this of the universe?
They are also a distributor of Field Roast Grain Meat products. The little one doesn't know it yet, but he's about to go "veg" too! Actually, I consider him and my daughter true meat-lovers. Both of them always ate all the meat on their plates. My daughter admits she sometimes gets cravings, but she doesn't cheat...I have to give her credit. But I really don't like meat; it's too, well, fleshy! I'm happy to give it up. I'm am concerned about too much fake meat though. I'm not sure how tasty it is. I've found a few homemade options I plan on trying, with beans.
I'm going to cook up the remaining meat I have, and make a serious effort not to buy meat or meat-related products anymore. My daughter's birthday is next week. We're having a small family gathering and I'm making a vegetarian dish...which one I haven't decided. This will be good practice because I know I'll have to start making dishes for holiday get-togethers that my daughter and I will be able to eat.
On another note, a good friend of mine is celebrating, observing, honoring Ramadan. She's catholic, but her sweetie is Muslim. Isn't that awesome? She's the bomb; I'm sure he knows. I know very little about Islam, but to me, it sounds like Lent, in practice and in purpose. Anyway, from what I have learned from my buddy Badr, I think I'm going to give fasting a shot.
The sunrise/sunset I'm following is here. For me, this isn't about becoming Muslim, it's more about getting my mind, my soul, and my actions to align. My mental image of who I am is very different than my behavior in alot of ways; I need for that disparity to disappear. And again, the bar is just hovering above the ground on this one. I'm not going for 100% every single day. But I am going to do the best I can with what I have to make the most of this experience. We'll see what comes of it.
(Badr's text is in black. My comments are in green.)
Turn off you TV. For this whole month.
Now that Saving Grace is over for the season, and True Blood, Mad Men, Monk, and Psych will soon end, I can turn off my TV most days. I cancelled Showtime, even though it pains me to not watch Dexter. I don’t get premium channels or DVR on my bedroom TV anymore, and I really don’t watch much TV in there anyway. I’d rather read or work on the computer or sleep. I keep saying my ultimate goal is to cancel cable altogether, but I’m afraid my kids will launch a revolt.
Reduce the use of cell phones.
I’d be happier if I didn’t have one period. I only use it for my kids, and the occasional random person call. I don’t like being that connected. But I also don’t like being limited by minutes or texts or any of that. Most of the time it’s at the bottom of my purse, so I tend to miss calls. It’s easier to call me at work or at home.
In fact, I’d like it if my cell phone wasn’t a phone at all. Talking on it is the last thing I do with it! I use it for RSS, calendar, notes, web, text, camera, and if I hold it under the light in the right way, a mirror!
Be informed and learn about the issues in our environment, and know your options.
I would like to attend a discussion on health care reform. I know where the big pieces sort of fit in this picture, but I would like to hear a more practical implementation strategy at the local level.
Eat more greens and whole, unprocessed foods, fruits and vegetables.
There is always romaine in my fridge. I love salads. Usually spinach too. I do my best to shop the “outside” of the grocery store. Actually, there’s a great local market down the street from me, Krieger’s. I buy almost all my produce there. They have a nice supply of vegan/vegetarian items as well. I’ve made fruit salads a couple of times, but we didn’t really eat much of it. Dunno why…it was tasty.
Eat meat, eggs and dairy from grass-fed animals.
I'm transitioning to a meatless diet. Once upon a time, I was a vegetarian, but that was a while ago. I'm really not a big meat eater. Most meals don't have meat or much of it. My daughter has been a veghead for almost two years. My son however, probably bleeds bacon grease. Well, it's really f-acon (turkey bacon), also known as edible paper IMO.
Shop for meats guaranteed to come from animals that have not been given any hormones or antibiotics.
I know Krieger’s buys from local vendors, but I’m not sure where they stand with organic/free range/grassfed meats.
Shop local food and produce, go to the farmers market.
I’m going to a farmer’s market this weekend!
I’m also trying to break up with Wal.M.art. I live right across the street from one, so it’s really hard not to go there when I need poster board or milk at 8:00 at night. I comparison shop and I know for many of the taxable items I buy, they have the lowest prices. I try to use my membership at a local wholesale club (which is not owned by Wally), but sometimes it just can’t be avoided. When you have other people to take care of, convenience becomes a commodity. My time is money!
Make your food colorful and attractive.
I’m not a bad cook. I’m still learning new, healthier and creative ways to prepare meals, and I definitely like it when my friends and family compliment me on a meal.
Read labels carefully. If you don’t understand it, don’t buy it.
Check!
Eat slowly and chew your food.
Duh.
Buy less food this month.
Not possible with the boy in the house.
Avoid all sugar products.
Working on it. Iced tea is a fav. There are a lot of Stevia-ia products out there, Truvia, etc. Don’t think they are budget friendly.
Avoid all refined carbohydrates.
I found a blog on making your own hamburger buns. Seems pretty easy and straight forward..gonna try that this month too. (I'll add the link when I find it!)
I don’t buy sliced bread anymore. I’m trying to get into making wraps, but I haven’t completely transitioned. Right now, the kids get school lunches (gasp). I just can’t beat the convenience factor. I hate making lunches. That’s so lazy, but I do.
Avoid all refined sweeteners, such as sugar, dextrose, glucose, high fructose corn syrup and fruit juices.
I cut all that out a while ago. I don’t buy any juice at all except orange juice.
Avoid all hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated fats and oils.
Check!
Avoid all refined liquid vegetable oils made from soy, corn, safflower, canola or cottonseed, and all processed oils and hydrogenated oils.
Check!
Avoid all fried food.
Most of the time. The boy likes my fried chicken, so once or twice a month I cook it for him. Once in a while, I will fry potatoes (greasy yummy heaven), but that’s it! I have a stovetop grill, a toaster oven
Avoid drinking the poison called SODA pop.
Even though I have a case a pop and drank one yesterday, I don’t really like it. I only buy it for gatherings, but from now on, I quit!
Stop using microwaves. I use it less frequently. I never prepare meat or defrost anything in it. Most of the time we use the toaster oven when we can. I also hate those microwave lunches/meals! Even though those are uber-convenient, I don’t like the taste or the way the foods look. The only micromeal I do like are the Tabatchnick soups. The Balsamic Tomato & Rice Soup is yummy!
Car pool to work or take the bus.
I would love to take the bus. But there are no routes from my apartment to my job. Even though I work only 9 miles away, there is no safe bike path either. I would have to cross over a highway on a narrow shoulder, so that ain’t happen! Someone might think I look like Michelle Obama from the back and try to run me down!
Stop smoking.
Don’t smoke anyway! Check!
Avoid using make-up, it causes skin cancer and many other skin problems.
Hmm, Badr. Make-up causes cancer? That’s a first. I usually wear mascara, powder and lip gloss. That’s not so much. On the weekends, I usually don’t bother. I like to play with make-up; it’s fun to put on, but I don’t like wearing too much because I touch my face a lot and end up with smudges everywhere.
Walk at least 20 minutes everyday.
I really need to do this. Really really do.
Give something every day of this month, an advice, a smile, a gift, listen to someone...
I think I do this anyway. Some days I think I do too much of it. But I guess it comes with the territory. Besides, it could be worse. I recall someone once telling me what it was like to go through the day without any physical contact from another person. No acknowledgment of his existence, except as a fleeting customer or bus passenger. He had no one who cared about him or depended on him for anything. I think about that when I think of my parents, who each live alone and each have significant health issues. Days when I think I can’t bear to have a conversation about mundane activities like what I made for dinner or what the kids are up to, I realize for my folks, these accounts are the highlights of their days. I get and give hugs and kisses every day. That’s a beautiful thing. I do my best to share it, even if it is over the phone.
Volunteer work.
I’ve been checking out a few places, but I haven’t done much more than that. I’d like to volunteer at a retirement community, but I don’t really know where one is down here.
Plant a tree or a small garden.
Since my last attempt at gardening failed miserably, I think I will try container gardening. One day.
Recycle and buy recycled paper products.
I stopped buying paper towels a year ago. The kids thought it was weird, but now they’re used to it. I use washable rags instead. When they get gross, I throw them out! Simple!
I carry big purses, so if I’m running errands, I tell the cashier I don’t need a bag. Or I’ll grab the trendy grocery bags from the trunk of my car. It’s much easier to carry them up and down the stairs.
Think positive thoughts and practice forgiveness.
Check! The last few weeks I’ve rekindled my relationship with my father. I love him and missed him dearly. But forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. We won’t have the type of relationship I’d like, but it will be a functional one. I think he also now understands that I have boundaries that cannot be crossed.I’m hoping for the best, and recognizing my own weaknesses in this process.
