...and the award for best grown up female in the comedy/drama/thriller called my life is...

Me? (gasp) I won?

looks askance

Oh goodness, I can't believe it...you like me! You REALLY like me!

two offspring roll their eyes with disdain

I don't know what to say... I didn't expect to win! (blushing and fake-sweating)

offspring continue to share ocular displeasure

(gathers invisible full-length skirt) um, ok, I didn't prepare a speech, but I did scratch out some notes just in case someone else needed a speech...let's see where did I put it? (feigns checking invisible pockets in invisible skirt)

First and foremost...exactly what does foremost mean anyway? (giggle) I would like to give all glory, honor, praise, worship, gratitude and two small animal sacrifices to the one who made it all possible for me to win and the rest of you to lose.

youngest offspring's mouth falls open--oldest makes mad dash for ringing phone

I HEART Kathy Griffin!